Category Archives: Marriage Counseling

Overcome Fear of Vulnerability to Strengthen Your Relationship

Overcome Fear of Vulnerability to Strengthen Relationship

Couples Counseling Can Help You Create Deeper Bonds

Overcome Fear of Vulnerability to Strengthen Your Relationship.
In the intricate dance of relationships, vulnerability emerges as a powerful force that can either strengthen or weaken the bonds between couples. While many fear exposing their true selves to their partners, embracing vulnerability can be a transformative journey that leads to a deeper, more intimate connection. In this exploration, we’ll delve into the fears that often accompany sharing vulnerability in a relationship and the myriad benefits that await those brave enough to take the plunge. We also share how couples counseling can help you overcome fear of vulnerability and create deeper bonds.

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Do We Need Couples Therapy?

do we need couples therapy

Do we need couples therapy? Every relationship faces its own set of challenges, and it’s perfectly normal to encounter rough patches along the journey of love. In fact, couples who seek marriage counseling come from various walks of life, each with their unique concerns and goals. Whether you’re feeling like roommates or facing more serious marital problems, the decision to start couples therapy can be a vital step towards rebuilding and strengthening your connection. In this blog post, we’ll explore the signs that indicate it might be time to consider couples therapy and why it can be one of the most important investments you make in your relationship.

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Everything You Need to Know Before Starting Marriage Counseling

Everything You Need to Know Before Starting Marriage Counseling

What do you need to know before starting marriage counseling? In this post, we’ll answer the common questions that couples have before starting marriage counseling. We’ll also share essential insights that marriage counselors wish their clients knew from the beginning of couples therapy. 

It’s normal to feel anxious about couples counseling

In my 20+ years as a couples therapist, I’ve never met a couple that didn’t feel anxious about getting started. This is your most important relationship after all, and so much of your happiness and your future depends on it! It’s only natural that you need some reassurance and guidance before starting marriage counseling.

Here’s an outline of the topics we’ll cover in this post:

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How to Achieve Genuine Forgiveness
How to Achieve Genuine Forgiveness (Forgiveness Series Video 5)

When Is Genuine Forgiveness Possible?

We all desire the best options for our relationships—which leads us ask, “When is genuine forgiveness possible?”

As discussed in my previous videos, cheap forgiveness doesn’t work, perpetually refusing to forgive keeps us imprisoned, and acceptance may be the best option when it isn’t safe to continue the relationship.

But what if we want to restore love and trust in our relationship? To answer this question, watch the video above or keep reading!

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Forgiveness When the Other Person Isn’t Sorry

How to Approach Forgiveness When They’re Not Sorry (Forgiveness Series Video 4)

Our counseling and therapy clients can struggle with how to approach forgiveness when the other person isn’t sorry. What do you do if the other person feels no remorse? What if having contact with them puts you at risk of further harm? How about when the other person isn’t available? These situations present considerable challenges to those wishing to move forward in life.

Drawing from the work of forgiveness expert Janis Abrahms-Spring, I previously shared about other approaches to forgiveness that end up causing more harm. If you haven’t seen them yet, you can check them out here!

In this fourth video of our forgiveness series, I share about acceptance. As taught by Abrahms-Spring, acceptance is a healthy approach to forgiveness when the other person isn’t willing or available to help you heal. When it’s not safe to continue a relationship, moving toward acceptance can also be a life-affirming approach that keeps you safe. Acceptance can restore you to a sense of freedom, wholeness, empowerment, and possibility.

To learn more about this vital topic, watch our 8-minute video above, or keep reading!

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Why Cheap Forgiveness Doesn’t Work

Why Cheap Forgiveness Doesn’t Work (Forgiveness Series Video 2)

In this second video of our forgiveness series, we define “cheap forgiveness,” identify where it comes from, explain why cheap forgiveness doesn’t work, and describe how it can actually end up hurting you and your relationship. Watch the video above or keep reading to learn more! (If you missed it, here’s our first video introducing our series on how to forgive.)

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How to Forgive

How To Forgive (Forgiveness Series Video 1)

How to Forgive: Introducing Our Forgiveness Video Series

After painful experiences, we often wonder, “How do I move on? How do I heal from all that has happened?” In my experience as a couples therapist, people sometimes tell me, “I don’t know how to forgive.”

How Can I Forgive You? by Janis Abrahms-Spring

In this 5-part video series on how to forgive, I summarize some excellent counsel from Janis Abrahms-Spring’s book How Can I Forgive You? Also, I share some of my own observations from nearly 20 years as a Marriage & Family Therapist. In the coming four videos and blog post summaries, I’ll first share some ideas about what doesn’t work. I will then share some observations about how to navigate forgiveness and relational healing in a healthy way. We need ways to approach forgiveness that allow for safety, dignity, self-respect, and authentic growth. To learn more, watch our 2-minute video above or keep reading!

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Does Marriage Counseling Work?

Does Marriage Counseling Work?

Is Marriage Counseling Worth the Effort?

By Sarah Miller

Does marriage counseling work? You may wonder if it’s worth the effort, feeling hesitant to hope there’s a way to regain the closeness you once had. All too often, people who come to couples counseling say “this has been years in the making” or “we’ve known we needed this for a long time.” In the height of disconnection, during arguments or long stints of silence, helplessness sets in and your fears emerge: Can couples counseling even help us?

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Unlocking Love

Unlocking Love

Attachment Styles: a Key to Understanding Your Relationships

Attachment is a buzz word you may have heard before, perhaps in Psych 101 class or mentioned in parenting books. But did you know that discovering what your and your partner’s attachment styles are can unlock the key to a greater understanding of your needs and theirs? Continue reading

Effective Apologies

Effective Apologies

Saying sorry is not that hard. Not when you’re pulling out your carry-on from the overhead compartment and you bump that unsuspecting passenger. Or when your colleague has been waiting for that email from you since yesterday morning. Not even when you’ve just cut off someone because you were in a hurry and they make sure to let their horn tell you how they feel.

But when it comes to those who live and interact with us more intimately, apologizing is one of the hardest things to do, much less do effectively. There is a price to letting others into the limited confines of our heart space—we will bump into each other. Given the inevitably of these collisions, I’d like to speak to a few principles outlined by Harriet Lerner, PhD, that can help in making effective apologies. The following principles are taken from her interview with Brene Brown. Continue reading